


I'm Just Hanging On

by stars28



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Season 3 Finale, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-02
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 12:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4060690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stars28/pseuds/stars28
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s hell-bound, with no way out, and she’s more human than other demons.</p>
<p>Somehow, they work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Just Hanging On

_"I'm just trying to find my place in this world_  
_And I know it's not so right to feel this way about a girl_

_But if you stay or if you go I'm right here with you,_  
_But you know that I'm looking for more than a pretty smile_  
_And if I'm lucky you can stay for a while, but_

_If you stay or if you go I'm hanging on, I'm just_  
_I'm just hanging on_  
_I'm just hanging on..."_  
**\- If I'm Lucky, State Champs.**

* * *

When he first met Ruby, naturally the first reaction he has is the realisation that she's a demon. Of course he realises that, it's not hard with the way her eyes flash black for less than a second, but it's obvious.

Especially to a hunter.

* * *

After their first introduction, he spends his time hating her for being a demon. He does this when she's in the same room as Dean and Sam. He does it when she gives them the demon-killing knife for one hunt.

(He never is sure on how to thank people, but she's a _demon_ so it doesn't even matter. Sam does though, because he's _Sam_.)

* * *

When she saves him that is when Dean feels a spark. But it's not a spark that has to be tended over a long time. It's a spark that burns fast and furious when he sees her afterwards, with her hair turned almost black from the dirt and grime. He has to have her.

With her consent of course.

* * *

"You wanna fuck me?"

He settles for a nod, not expecting her to ask outright.

"Not tonight, but maybe later."

It's reasonable. He's covered in grave dirt from earlier, and he's surprised that she's even allowing him to talk to her right now.

"Ok." He says, a smile spreading over his face. He can't wait.

* * *

There are obstacles that keep them away from each other for several months after that tenuous agreement. Ghosts, vampires (he had thought that every one of those bastards was dead, but apparently not), and Sam's keeping him close because he was going to Hell in three months.

But they do finally find time to fuck, it's in a motel room in Alabama after he's finished playing poker to pay for his and Sam's life of hunting.

* * *

When they fuck, it's not sweet and tender. It's harsh and pulling on her hair, nails scratching his back, and the high is elusive but so, so fucking _good_ he's barely conscious when it comes.

When they lie next to each other, he voiced his worries about going to Hell in thee months, and she scoffs and replies, as she's sliding out of the shitty motel bed, that it's so much worse that his expectations and that, yes, he should be fucking terrified.

If he isn't, she says, he's an insane man.

He is insane, but not that insane.

* * *

When they are in the same room as Sam, Dean is protective, glaring at Ruby like he wants nothing more that to take her demon-killing knife off her and stab her in the heart with it.

This protectiveness, he knows, is the reason he's going to Hell. He also knows the other reason he's going to Hell: he couldn't bare to be alone without his younger brother.

* * *

Sam asks him where he keeps going one night.

He has two months left before he goes to Hell.

He lies because it's not like he can tell his brother that he's fucking the very demon he hates having in the same room.

"You know me Sam, gotta have some bar fights to keep me entertained." He says, giving his brother his patented 'lady killer' smirk.

Sam shakes his head in exasperation, and tactfully doesn't mention how he never has knuckles that are damaged when he comes back.

He leaves with his leather jacket like armour on his shoulders. It makes him feel a little better.

* * *

One month left and counting.

He voices his worries to her once during this time, and her response is mocking laughter.

"You're scared, and with good reason," She says, tying her blonde hair up in a messy bun at the base of her neck, "Hell is the worse place you can imagine and more."

He feels an uneasy feeling settle in his stomach, and has the feeling that it wouldn't be moving anytime soon.

* * *

He has a week until he enters Hell, and he spends the time split between comforting Sam as best he can, and fucking his feelings away with her.

He can't stand feeling helpless, but that's what he feels now, and he doesn't think it will ever stop.

She doesn't mention Hell once, and for that, he is grateful.

* * *

The night before he goes to Hell, Dean goes out and finds her. They fuck hard on the backseat of the Impala as the stereo system blares. But with the rushing in his ears, he can't hear the music.

Just before she leaves, she pats him on the cheek with her hand, fingers brushing past his eyes like there's something on them, and says, "You're fucked tomorrow."

He replies, "I know."

* * *

As Sam screams in the background, the Hell Hound rips him to shreds, and takes him down to Hell, he whispers her name, like a prayer, but so far from being a prayer it's fucking unbelievable.

_"Ruby."_

* * *

When Dean is under the earth and at peace - though Sam instinctively knows that Hell isn't going to be a holiday for Dean - Sam reflects on the fact that Dean said Ruby's name as he got dragged to Hell.

As he drives away in the Impala ( _Dean's car_ ), he thinks that probably means something but doesn't bother to think about it anymore. Thinking about Dean is painful now.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't forgetten about 'Unlikely Friends'! Don't worry! But this hit me last night, so I wrote it. I like this. It's cool.


End file.
